Transferred from my Xanga: One Sad Day

What would you do when you realized you lost a friend? A friend that you care so much; A friend that you share every up and down of your life; A friend that used to tell you everything every single day; A friend that call and send you text message during class; A friend that you can even take him as your brother; A friend that would cries in front of you and whim about his life; A friend that used to rely on you so much; A friend that make your day; A friend that could cure all your sadness and depress; A friend that will cry together with you; A friend that will come to you when you call him; A friend that never say no to any things that I ask for; A friend that you can talk about guys, girls and football; A friend that gossip about some hot topics; A friend that will go mamak with you even it mid night; A friend that would stand up for you.

 

Yes, I think Ie lost this friend. He never called and only send text message to me once in a blue moon. He never care about every up and down of my life; He never tell me everything every single day even when there a big fight in his family; He do not take me as his half brother any more; He never cries in front of me and whim about his life; He rather rely on his new class mate; He never bother to make my day; He do not even know when I depress; He never listen to my cry; He did not come to me even when I called for emergency; He said no to things that we usually agree with; He never talk about guys, girls and football to me any more; I do not know when is the last time we chat; He even do not have the interest in going mamak with me; And I think he would never stand up for me any more.

 

Is it because I have a boyfriend and he think he shall not get too close with me? But my boyfriend knows him. He even said hel be the ring man in our wedding IF my current boyfriend and I really end up together for the entire life.

 

Is it because he has new friends in his college that had taken over my place? I really sad when he told me about that something happen to his family and he does not wish to mention it. But he told *X* about it. He even cries in front of her. Am I jealousy?  Did I jealous *X*? He went out with *Q* for the whole night to make himself feel better. Yes, I agree that you know *Q* for so many years, but you know his characteristic. Hel bring you to some ddiction?life where you might lose you life?!!

 

Or is it only me that the problem occur? Am I thinking too much? Or having a boyfriend will cause me lose all my good male friends? I really sad to know Ie lost such a good friend.

 

I sat for my Law paper 1 today. And I did something very stupid. The question is asking delegated legislation but I wrote judicial precedent. I already very sad about this matter. I tried to text him and hope to get some comforting word from him. Who knows, it turn up to be more disappointing. May be I should learn to be more independent and get used to be in an isolated world of myself. May be I should let go this good friend of mine and let me disappear from his life for ever. I shall just be a memory in his high school. I shall walk away from his life and get on with my own life. However, you will still be invited to be either the flower boy or the ring man of my wedding no matter who am I going to marry.

Today, Thursday, November 16, 2006, 5.55pm, I shall seek for your forgive and forget. I will never be in your life any more. Hope that I once your best sister ever. Brother, Take care. Farewell my friend. Do your best in every thing. When you feel like everyone is turning their back on you, please remember that I will never turn my back to you, my friend. I will always be there when you need me.

 

God, please bless my friend. Hope that he could live on and bless me while I letting everything down.

 

 

 

Luv,

Nichole